【Jingshan Park】
Wang Luxi lay on the small bed in the youth hostel, pulling the bed curtain tight around her, staring at her phone in a daze. She had walked quite a bit during the day, and her feet were sore and swollen, forcing her to curl and uncurl her toes repeatedly for relief.
Yuan Bei sent a message: [Where else are you planning to go? Places you want to visit but haven’t been to yet.]
Wang Luxi: [Let me think about it.]
Wang Luxi: [I have some things to take care of these next few days. I promised my neighbor’s aunt that I’d help tutor her daughter in English this summer vacation. She’s in middle school. I’ve been having too much fun lately and have been putting it off for a while.]
Yuan Bei: [How do you tutor?]
Wang Luxi: [Online. Correcting exercises, then video calls where we go through articles together and do reading comprehension.]
Yuan Bei: [For pay?]
Wang Luxi: [Of course!!]
This touched on something Wang Luxi was particularly proud of. Most of the expenses for this trip, including the new phone and tablet she bought after the college entrance exam, were covered by her own money. Part of it came from years of saved pocket money, part from tutoring during holidays, and part from selling secondhand daily necessities and study notes from all subjects when she graduated.
Initially, she didn’t understand the “market,” but a friend reminded her that with her exam scores and ranking, her accumulated notes were quite valuable. Wang Luxi felt a bit smug about this, but also found the money somewhat tainted, so she bundled each subject’s notes with a thick stack of practice problem sets, selling them at half-price, and before she knew it, had disposed of everything.
She told Yuan Bei that this was the first summer vacation of her life where she didn’t have to worry about studying at all: no holiday homework, no need to worry about exams, zero pressure, with both money and free time.
Yuan Bei picked up on Wang Luxi’s thread: [Mm, youth is good.]
Then replied: [If you’re not going out, rest well. I’m going to get busy too.]
?
Busy with what? For how many days?
Can I still contact you when you’re busy?
But in the chat window, Yuan Bei didn’t reply again.
Wang Luxi suddenly felt frustrated, realizing she had killed the conversation. She only had things to do for the next few days, it’s not like she couldn’t meet Yuan Bei anymore. She felt like she could circle Beijing another thirty thousand li, as long as it was with Yuan Bei.
But once she thought this way, she felt somewhat ashamed again.
Pride and shame, anticipation and disappointment. When these highly contradictory emotions gathered in one person, Wang Luxi felt like she had become a wrinkled apple core, a deflated tire, listless.
Knowing full well she was driving on a road with an unknown destination, what could she do? This world has never lacked clear-minded people, but how you think is one thing, how you act is another, and turning around midway is really difficult. What’s more, she had plenty of horsepower and very fast zero-to-sixty acceleration. She had already shot forward in one burst.
Wang Luxi’s fingers tapped against the screen.
She really wanted to get to the bottom of things, wanted to ask Yuan Bei, but she also felt that those questions troubling her heart might be somewhat inappropriate.
In the end, she held back.
She deleted the words she had typed, one by one.
–
She quietly set Yuan Bei’s chat window to pin to the top, so she could see new messages at the first opportunity.
For the following week, Wang Luxi didn’t arrange any high-intensity itineraries for herself.
During the day, she stayed in the youth hostel or found beautifully decorated coffee shops, ordered a signature drink, put on headphones and tutored the little girl online through the complementary internet connection. In the evenings, she would search for highly-rated shops on review apps, then take the subway out to hunt for food.
Communication with Yuan Bei seemed to have stagnated too.
Not a complete cutoff. There were occasional brief conversations, and Yuan Bei would like the moments she posted on social media. This seemed like a signal, indicating that he was free now, that he was using his phone. Wang Luxi scanned her way out of the subway turnstiles, squeezed out of the crowd, and instead of bothering to get on the escalator, simply stood in a corner and sent Yuan Bei a message first.
Wang Luxi: [dd]
Yuan Bei: [What’s up?]
Wang Luxi: [Have you been to Universal?]
Yuan Bei had just liked that social media post in which she had shared a promotion for Beijing Universal Studios annual passes.
Yuan Bei: [No.]
Yuan Bei: [Want to go?]
Yes! I want to go!
Together?
Wang Luxi’s little heart was clamoring, but she still took a deep breath and feigned composure: [When you’re free?]
She watched the “typing…” indicator at the top of the screen, guessing what kind of response Yuan Bei would give, then rehearsing her own reaction. At worst, it would just be rejection, it wouldn’t kill her. She stared intently at the chat window until Yuan Bei’s message popped up—
Yuan Bei: [I’m free anytime.]
Wang Luxi scratched her face: [What does “anytime” mean?]
Yuan Bei: [Whenever.]
Yuan Bei: [Aren’t you busy lately?]
Wang Luxi: [!!!]
Wang Luxi: [When I said I was busy, I didn’t mean I don’t even have time to go out and have fun! Besides, you said you were busy too recently, so I didn’t dare disturb you. I’m not someone without social awareness.]
Yuan Bei replied with a string of ellipses.
Wang Luxi didn’t know what emotion lay behind those ellipses.
She couldn’t care anymore. Her emotions were taking over now, and she had to get it out.
Wang Luxi: [What’s wrong with you, Yuan Bei!]
Yuan Bei didn’t reply for a long time.
Wang Luxi suddenly felt a bit aggrieved and wanted to continue her tirade, but the screen jumped, a voice call came through directly.
She answered, and neither of them spoke first. After a few seconds of pause, Yuan Bei’s voice finally sounded in her ear: “Ancestor, can you be reasonable?”
It carried a hint of laughter, very natural, unhurried, nonchalant.
His style.
It was clearly a joking tone, but in that instant, Wang Luxi felt even more aggrieved. She didn’t even know where this grievance came from, but suddenly, her eyes stung.
“I was worried that you didn’t really want to deal with me but were too polite to refuse,” she said in a muffled voice. “I was considering your feelings.”
“Quite reasonable to shift the blame,” Yuan Bei laughed again. “Why don’t you look at our chat history? Which conversation wasn’t ended by me?”
“But you never initiated anything either. You could have asked me if I was done being busy.”
“Did you ask me?” Yuan Bei paused. “You have shy moments too?”
“…Is that a compliment?”
…Like elementary school kids bickering. What was this?
Yuan Bei was speechless.
Both of them fell silent for a while, and he was the first to build a bridge: “Where are you?”
Wang Luxi lowered her head, pressed her index finger against her nose, got through that moment of sourness, then lifted her phone to let Yuan Bei hear the noisy sounds of people in the subway station.
“Did you just wake up? It’s already noon.”
She heard Yuan Bei’s voice was a bit hoarse.
“Mm, went to bed late last night. My schedule is still messed up.”
“Why? When you went out with me last week, didn’t you wake up early?”
Then Yuan Bei laughed again: “Mm, thank you. I really owe you one.”
“You’re welcome.”
The two cats, seeing Yuan Bei was awake, circled around his legs. Wang Luxi heard faint meowing, the sound of cat food being poured, and the crisp sound of a metal pull tab from cat food cans.
“Are you free tomorrow?” Yuan Bei poured cat food into bowls, holding the phone between his shoulder and ear.
“Yes.” Wang Luxi had just walked out of the subway station, stepping into the sunlight. “Where to?”
“You decide.”
“The Start of Autumn was a few days ago.”
Wang Luxi suddenly remembered.
Those posts had flooded social media and Weibo – autumn’s first cup of milk tea, autumn’s first little cake, autumn’s first fallen leaf… But it was still very hot, not truly the season yet. Where would fallen leaves come from?
Wang Luxi had read Mr. Lao She’s “Autumn in Beiping” many times and loved it, but Beijing was too big. Even geographically, she hadn’t been able to glimpse more than a fraction of it, let alone its four seasons.
She asked Yuan Bei: “Where in Beijing is autumn beautiful?”
Yuan Bei thought for a moment: “Anywhere is fine. Leaves turn yellow everywhere anyway.”
“Then this autumn, I want to take photos on the streets.” She had long heard that Beijing’s autumn beauty was beautiful, but too short, seemingly lasting only as long as an autumn wind swept through, that brief.
Yuan Bei didn’t pick up on this.
He paused: “Let’s talk about tomorrow first.”
“Tomorrow… Jingshan Park?”
“Won’t you be tired?”
“I won’t be tired,” Wang Luxi scanned a shared bicycle. “Are you tired? Do you need to rest a few more days?”
“…”
–
Jingshan Park sits right north of the Forbidden City. Across one street is the north gate of the Forbidden City, the Gate of Divine Prowess, with “Palace Museum” inscribed on its eaves.
From Wanchun Pavilion, the highest point of Jingshan Park, you can see the CBD (Central Business District) to the east, Beihai to the west, the Drum Tower and Olympic Tower to the north, and this is also the only place in Beijing where you can overlook the entire Forbidden City.
Above the central axis, with a broad and clear view, are red walls and yellow tiles arranged in orderly rows. If buildings have life, then viewing the entire Forbidden City at a glance is probably like intersecting with a thousand years of history in an instant, gently, suddenly, touching fingertips.
The next day was Saturday.
Wang Luxi wanted to go in the evening, because every Friday and Saturday night, the Forbidden City lights up, and many people, like Wang Luxi, wanted to witness this moment. During the fall, the lighting happens around 7:30 to 8:00 PM. Wang Luxi had researched extensively, but accounts varied, so to avoid missing it, she could only arrive early.
She and Yuan Bei arrived at six o’clock, walking up the path.
There were quite a few tourists along the way.
The ancients said “it’s unbearably cold at great heights.” Though Jingshan wasn’t high, it did seem a bit cooler than at the bottom, with gentle breezes by her ears. Wang Luxi took small steps and was soon several steps behind Yuan Bei.
Yuan Bei wore an oversized white T-shirt today, its sleeves ruffled by the wind, with one edge curled up. Wang Luxi, sharp-eyed, vaguely glimpsed something black-gray underneath the sleeve, like lines; this was the first time, a completely new discovery she had never noticed before.
Taking advantage of Yuan Bei waiting for her at a corner, she walked up and poked his shoulder through the shirt.
“What pattern is it?”
“…Mechanical, parts,” Yuan Bei pressed the sleeve down and, sensing Wang Luxi was about to burst into laughter, promptly raised his hand as if to flick her forehead. “Try laughing.”
“No, no,” Wang Luxi quickly suppressed her expression, selecting appropriate descriptive words. “I just never expected you to be so… chuunibyou. When did you get it tattooed?”
“…After the college entrance exam? College? Can’t remember.” He looked at Wang Luxi. “Anyway, when I was your age.”
Like you, still mistakenly thinking that one’s worldview and values could be entrusted to objects, at an age when there was still some desire to express oneself about life. To call it frivolous wouldn’t be accurate, but youth was real.
“I thought you never had that phase,” Wang Luxi really wanted to see it, but Yuan Bei wouldn’t let her. “Do you regret it?”
“No regrets. Can’t see it anyway.”
“Then why mechanical?”
“Because it was pretentious enough.”
Wang Luxi slapped Yuan Bei’s shoulder: “…Can you be serious!”
“…Back then I was really into sci-fi movies,” Yuan Bei said. “After watching several, I started overthinking, feeling that people and machines weren’t really different.”
Strip away flesh and skin, and inside is just a dry skeleton, supporting the main body to receive consciousness and act upon it. But even machines rust and malfunction, just like human birth, aging, sickness, and death. When the day comes to fall apart, mechanical parts return to the furnace, and all those traces of use, all that friction and wear, lose all meaning, melting into a pot of molten iron.
Then a new cycle begins – unknowing, unconscious, having repeated ten thousand times already, a new cycle.
…
Wang Luxi wore shorts and canvas shoes today, carrying a backpack with “Phoenix Chirp” bouncing behind her. In areas with dense vegetation, there were many insects, and mosquitoes had given her several hard welts on her thighs. Even making crosses with her fingernails didn’t help, so she could only urge Yuan Bei to go faster, then faster still.
But when they reached the top of Wanchun Pavilion, she felt disappointed and deflated.
They were still too late, there were no spots left.
The surrounding trees were lush and verdant, Wanchun Pavilion was exquisitely beautiful with carved beams and painted pillars, very pretty, but everywhere you looked there were people. Especially on the south side, where you could see the Forbidden City, the railings were surrounded so tightly that not even water could trickle through.
Wang Luxi could only stand in the outer circle, on tiptoes, to barely catch a glimpse of one corner of the Gate of Divine Prowess’s brackets and flying eaves under the setting sun’s afterglow.
“…Great.” Wang Luxi threw up her hands.
Yuan Bei found it amusing: “Come again next time?”
“Next time will be next weekend.”
“Then wait?”
“…Wait!”
Fortunately, the crowd moved slowly.
Wang Luxi soon found a spot in a corner.
Though this angle wasn’t as centered or precise as the central axis, she could barely see the full view. She called Yuan Bei’s name, waving him over, and when he was blocked by tourists cutting across, she reached out to grab his wrist and pulled.
Wang Luxi raised her Polaroid camera, first looking for the right composition.
She also gave Yuan Bei a task, asking him to help film a video, making sure to capture the moment the lights came on. Yuan Bei said it would be better to wait for the tourists in the middle to finish taking photos and “borrow” one of their pictures. At these words, Wang Luxi’s expression looked like she wanted to eat someone.
She was incredibly anticipating that moment when the lights came on: “It must be spectacular.”
“It’s okay, I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed.”
“You’ve seen it before?”
“Once.”
They say the sunset at Jingshan Park is the most romantic. Yuan Bei’s childhood friend had proposed here, even inviting a bunch of friends to witness it and to create a surprise. Everything was ready except they forgot to check the weather forecast. It poured that day, leaving everyone thoroughly soaked. The so-called Forbidden City lighting wasn’t all the palaces lighting up either, just the area around the Gate of Divine Prowess, nothing like the golden brilliance they had imagined.
Later, when the friends did a post-mortem of this “failed” proposal, their unanimous assessment was that it was like going to a feast when you’re starving, waiting forever, only to be served a plate of peanuts.
Wang Luxi laughed herself silly: “Just tell me what happened with the proposal! Did the girl say yes!?”
Of course she said yes.
Now they are a family of four, with both a son and daughter.
“Right, the result was good, and rainy weather has its own scenery, sunny weather has its own scenery. As long as it’s something you climbed up here to see, it’s all good.” Wang Luxi took out her phone to check the time: it was already 7:30 PM.
Purple-pink clouds began to appear on the horizon.
The sun was about to set.
Wang Luxi gazed at the Forbidden City: the red walls with their forbidden mystique, the orderly arranged palace buildings, half-bathed in slanting sunlight, melting into golden tiles. Legend had it the Forbidden City had 9,999.5 rooms. No wonder it seemed so vast.
Continuous, boundless, magnificent scenery stretching for miles.
It seemed to have no end.
Small black dots leaped over the flying eaves, and Wang Luxi squinted until she could finally see clearly. They were crows.
She asked Yuan Bei, almost as if talking to herself: “These buildings have been here for many, many, many years, and have housed many, many, many people.”
From dawn to dusk, from winter to summer, from ancient times to now, just like those ancient trees at the Temple of Heaven. One ring of growth representing one year, layered so deep you couldn’t see the grain anymore.
“Sometimes I’m like you, I get depressed too. Compared to these things that have existed for hundreds or thousands of years, what are we? A human lifetime is really so short, there’s simply not enough time to do so many things.”
Wang Luxi leaned on the railing, chin propped up, staring at one spot for so long that her eyes began to ache, all the intense colors drilling into her pupils until she felt heat behind her eyes: “But it seems a bit different too.”
Refusing to name the rescued kittens because they would leave eventually.
Disliking all ceremony because time can’t be held onto, all human intervention is futile.
Not getting interested in new things because they’ll eventually become old.
Wang Luxi nudged Yuan Bei with her elbow: “I’ve noticed you really like to imagine, imagining the outcomes of things.”
Just like machines will always rust and break down, the sun will always set, buildings will always collapse, and even the most robust leaves will eventually wither and die.
These are all outcomes.
“But have you heard that saying? In a person’s lifetime, they really only live through a few moments.”
…The sun dropped a bit lower.
Many people began checking the time, then raised their phones and cameras.
Among the dense array of telephoto lenses, Wang Luxi’s light blue Polaroid looked like a plastic toy.
But she still raised it.
“Yuan Bei, I think you’re right. Everything will end, everything is meaningless…”
The first to light up were the street lamps on both sides of Jingshan Front Street.
Pedestrians and cyclists on the road seemed to sense it too, stopping one after another.
Someone began to shout.
“…Although it sounds cruel to say this, life is composed of many meaningless moments.”
Wang Luxi pressed the shutter amid the exclamations and shouts.
…
The lights of the Forbidden City came on.
Glittering in that instant.
Just as Yuan Bei had said, it wasn’t really spectacular or magnificent. The Forbidden City had countless palaces, most of which seemed to disappear with the falling night, only this one spot, the Gate of Divine Prowess, with orange lights against red walls, and those words “Palace Museum,” standing quietly on Beijing’s central axis remained.
Like a torch in the darkness, blazing light.
“We can’t refuse to set out just because we know the outcome, just like we can’t ignore how beautiful something looks when it’s lit up just because we know the lights will go out in the morning. At least it really is beautiful.” Wang Luxi handed the freshly developed photo paper to Yuan Bei. Today her dream had come true. She had captured the moment when the Forbidden City lights came on. “This photo paper itself has no meaning, and this scene of the Forbidden City lighting up has no meaning either. But this moment, when I’m here with you, this is very meaningful, right?”
Yuan Bei held the photo paper and looked at the crooked composition angle. It was the most perfect Forbidden City they could capture today, vivid and alive.
He looked at Wang Luxi, didn’t speak, but remembered what Wang Luxi had said about why she preferred Polaroids over cameras and phone photography – because of their unique property representing frozen time.
Indeed.
“Later when I see this photo, I’ll remember today, August 12th, 2023, 8 PM, me and Yuan Bei.” Wang Luxi hesitated, then handed the photo out. “I’ll give it to you.”
…
She was the one who gave this moment meaning, Yuan Bei thought.
Unlike his nihilism, she persisted in trying to give unique meaning to every moment of life as much as possible. For the first time, he felt a sense of shame, and for the first time began to examine and reflect. Was there such a possibility that in his past life, he might have missed many moments like this?
In elementary school Chinese class, the teacher explained “a drop in the ocean,” describing the vastness of the universe and the insignificance of the individual.
All existence will dissipate; for the individual, this process is like a dream in the human world. But this dream is not insignificant. At least, you can make it less insignificant.
Just like the value of the Forbidden City.
It doesn’t lie in its construction, but in the changes and time it has experienced.
…
Yuan Bei looked at the photo and finally put it in his pocket.
Many tourists were ready to go down the mountain after seeing the Forbidden City lighting. He protected Wang Luxi from the surging crowd while seriously teasing her: “Since the photo is with me, where will you look at it later?”
“…Then I’ll take a few more to give you, and you give that one back to me. Giving it to you would be wasteful anyway. Didn’t you say it was meaningless?”
Sometimes Wang Luxi really “knew how to talk.”
The team with professional cameras at the railing had not dispersed yet. Wang Luxi wanted to stand in the center, but her view still couldn’t get past the heads in front.
There was a couple taking selfies with a selfie stick, the girl on tiptoes kissing the boy’s cheek, and a father playing with his child, crouching down to let the little one ride on his shoulders.
Wang Luxi instinctively turned to look at Yuan Bei, but got his disgusted tone and fake smile: “Why are you looking at me? I can’t lift you.”
“…”
Really annoying enough, Yuan Bei was probably the god of destroying atmosphere. All the romance had just completely dissipated.
Wang Luxi took several more photos. It was just closing time for the park, and under the staff’s urging, she reluctantly walked down the mountain, planning in her mind that next time, she should come see the Forbidden City in the morning.
–
On the way back, Wang Luxi fell asleep.
Right in Yuan Bei’s car, sleeping quite soundly.
During the weekend evening traffic jam in Guomao, she drowsily seemed to hear Yuan Bei ask what she wanted to eat later. Her reply was ill-tempered, with the anger of being woken up, saying McDonald’s.
It was all because of that father and son they met coming down from Jingshan Park together. The child said he wanted McDonald’s for dinner, and Wang Luxi overheard, suddenly getting a craving. Now that she was awake, the first thing she smelled was the scent of french fries in the car.
They had already arrived downstairs at the apartment building.
Yuan Bei’s car was parked by the roadside, who knows for how long. When she opened her eyes, she saw Yuan Bei looking down at his phone.
“Awake?”
Yuan Bei gave her a look, then indicated the back seat, where there was a McDonald’s paper bag. That’s where the aroma was coming from.
“Congratulations on evolving,” Yuan Bei said. “Beijing’s reputation as a culinary wasteland is well-deserved. After you stay a few more years and the novelty wears off, you’ll know that this stuff is still the best.”
There was none for Yuan Bei.
He said he wasn’t hungry.
So Wang Luxi finished a double cheeseburger, chicken nuggets, and fries in Yuan Bei’s car. Then she crumpled up the trash.
Yuan Bei then handed her a second bag. A pharmacy plastic bag containing mosquito repellent and a round little tin, which was cooling balm.
At Jingshan Park tonight, she had nearly been eaten alive by mosquitoes. He had seen it.
“Apply some when you get back, and don’t wear shorts next time you climb mountains,” Yuan Bei said.
Wang Luxi nodded, then hesitated while holding the plastic bag.
She looked out the car window.
The building where the youth hostel was located was on the inner side. You had to walk about a hundred meters inward and turn a corner.
Wang Luxi didn’t speak, just turned to look at Yuan Bei, silently lowered her head, unbuckled her seatbelt, then looked again.
And again.
Yuan Bei’s soft laughter and the car door unlock sound came almost simultaneously. Reading between the lines had always been Yuan Bei’s strong suit. He reached out and ruffled Wang Luxi’s hair: “I’ll walk you partway.”
…
The trash bag was thrown into a garbage bin.
Wang Luxi and Yuan Bei walked side by side, their arms occasionally touching, then separating again as their steps fell out of sync. Yuan Bei’s body temperature seemed a bit lower than hers, his skin cool.
Wang Luxi unconsciously began to hug her arms.
Not in self-defense, but to ease the awkwardness. The awkwardness of not knowing where to put her hands. Her shorts didn’t even have pockets. There was only the plastic bag with mosquito repellent, which she had nearly worn a hole through with her picking.
However, no matter how slow the pace, no matter how hesitant and conflicted the feelings, there was always an end.
Soon they reached the building entrance.
Wang Luxi stopped, facing Yuan Bei.
She needed to look up, borrowing the light from the building’s entrance lamp behind her, to see Yuan Bei’s face clearly.
Strangely, Yuan Bei wasn’t smiling, nor did he seem about to speak. He just looked at her quietly, his gaze seeming to carry weight.
The eye contact suddenly stretched long, like putting flour into water – the clear water was no longer clear, becoming viscous.
…Of course, these were all Wang Luxi’s own feelings.
Yuan Bei remained silent throughout.
But his gaze was different from any other time.
Wang Luxi was certain of this, and it was precisely this certainty that gave her some courage and confidence to take a small step forward.
When she looked up again, the distance between her and Yuan Bei had shortened.
She could see the shape of his eyes clearly, and the color of his pupils and irises.
…She should not have eaten that hamburger, it had pickles in it.
Wang Luxi suddenly had this thought.
She was waiting. She knew clearly that she was waiting, just wasn’t sure if she could get what she was waiting for.
It might have been half a minute, or maybe a minute.
Until her thigh started itching again, Mosquitoes, drawn by the light, had landed on her leg.
But she couldn’t bear to make even the motion of swatting mosquitoes, only gripping the plastic bag tightly, arms hanging at her sides.
She looked at Yuan Bei’s eyes, then to his nose bridge, then to the corner of his mouth.
Then, under her gaze, Yuan Bei raised his hand.
Wang Luxi instinctively closed her eyes for a moment, then quickly opened them again, because she felt something on her face.
…Yuan Bei’s hand brushed past her nose tip, gently pinching her cheek. His fingertips were slightly rough, just slightly, and didn’t linger long. Wang Luxi didn’t even have time to distinguish whether his palm was warmer than his arm.
“You’ll have a few more mosquito bites in a while,” he lowered his hand.
That was all.
“…So I’ll go up now?” Wang Luxi’s shoulders drooped too, she pressed her lips together and forced a smile.
Yuan Bei laughed.
Probably at her cautiousness, and how her face couldn’t hide anything.
Wang Luxi guessed.
Back in the room, the girl in the opposite bed was watching a drama. Seeing her enter, she greeted her, then put on earphones.
Wang Luxi sat on the edge of the bed in a daze, motionless for a long time.
Until her phone rang. She guessed it was Yuan Bei, picked it up and looked, and indeed it was.
He had sent a photo.
In the photo was her sleeping soundly in the passenger seat with her head tilted, taken secretly at some red light.
Her sleeping posture was really ungraceful. Even Wang Luxi thought so herself.
But Yuan Bei had just sent this secretly taken photo, with the caption: Returning you one, today’s “moment.”
Wang Luxi was both angry and amused, and immediately called him: “How can you be so annoying!”
Yuan Bei took the scolding without getting upset: “Mm, your Beijing dialect has improved too.”
Wang Luxi took off her backpack and tossed it aside, flopping onto the bed.
“Where are you now?”
“Haven’t left yet.”
“Haven’t left yet?”
“Mm,” Yuan Bei said, “just standing for a while.”
“Standing around doing what? Feeding mosquitoes?”
Yuan Bei didn’t answer this question.
Only silence responded to her.
Because of this silence, Wang Luxi felt the tension that had just dissipated return with a vengeance. She shot up and sat upright. Right now, at this moment, she needed to restrain her impulse to run back downstairs.
Yuan Bei seemed to always sense what she was thinking. He said: “Get some rest soon. I’m leaving.”
“…Oh.”
Leave, unlock the car, go home.
That should be it.
But Yuan Bei had lied to Wang Luxi. He left the building entrance, went to 7-Eleven to buy a bottle of water, then sat in his car for a while, digesting emotions or something. He hadn’t figured it out himself.
His phone lit up in the darkness – it was a message from Wang Luxi.
She said good night to him.
Yuan Bei put down his phone, started the car, and merged into the night traffic.
…
Beijing was still Beijing.
It was eternal, silently turning, proceeding in an orderly fashion, never changing for any individual.
But for Yuan Bei, who lived here, it was a little different today, or perhaps Yuan Bei after meeting Wang Luxi was a little different.
It’s hard to describe.
Perhaps it was that he had been lit up.
His spark.
His torch had blazed to life.