After that sunrise, Yuan Bei didn’t contact Wang Luxi for several days.
The two seemed to have reached some unspoken understanding. Similarly, he hadn’t received any messages from Wang Luxi either.
Her WeChat Moments continued updating as usual. The latest post was from this morning, geotagged at a baozi (buns) shop on Gulou Street, with the caption: “Yellow mustard sauce with garlic paste and vinegar. Not sketchy at all, so delicious!”
Yuan Bei frowned as he enlarged the photo, studying it carefully. On the table: a plate of baozi, a bowl of liver fry, and a small dish of dipping sauce.
A portion for one person.
He clicked open his chat window with Wang Luxi and stared blankly for a while.
…
If you could say they had no connection at all, that wouldn’t be entirely true.
Yuan Bei had received three express packages, two small ones and one large. The two small boxes contained cat food cans, cat treats, and ceramic cat bowls with pink butterfly bows, one set for each cat. The large box contained an automatic feeder.
Yuan Bei knew exactly who was behind this and called her immediately.
“When you’re sending cats to friends for care, you should prepare everything properly and bring resources to the team, their treatment shouldn’t be too shabby.” Wang Luxi’s exact words were, “I’m troubling you during this time, and I thought I should thank you, but I didn’t know what to send, so…”
Yuan Bei didn’t want to hear these useless pleasantries and cut straight to the point: “Where are you?”
He could hear it was very noisy on the other end.
“I’m at a script murder game. Can’t talk now.”
The call was hung up.
Yuan Bei sat on the sofa in a daze.
He sat from afternoon until dark.
–
Before leaving the country, there were many things to do.
Three days before departure, his childhood friends organized a farewell gathering.
A boisterous group gathered in a private dining room. The guest of honor looked dejected. His friend draped an arm around Yuan Bei’s shoulder: “Back when you were applying to schools and quitting your job, you seemed so determined. Like our group wasn’t worth your time to stick around. What’s wrong now? Getting cold feet about leaving? Missing us already? Where was this energy before?”
“Fuck off,” Yuan Bei said irritably.
“I don’t think Yuan Bei is necessarily reluctant to leave us,” another friend joked. “A few days ago my wife took our kid to Universal Studios and said she saw Yuan Bei there with a girl. She thought she was seeing things and asked me about it.”
A girl!
The dinner table erupted.
Not only were there rumors, but photographic evidence. That friend pulled out his chat history with his wife, taken from a passerby’s perspective, a bit blurry. In the photo, two people stood in front of gift shop shelves. Yuan Bei was slightly bent over, letting Wang Luxi stand on her tiptoes to try a Tim Bear headband on him, while she wore a Toothless hat. From behind, with wings and ears sticking out, they looked quirky and strange.
Yuan Bei seemed to recall their conversation from that moment.
Wang Luxi had said the hat was too thick and hot, especially with her hair down, she was about to get heatstroke. In the end, he held a small fan and blew cool air on her for half an hour.
…
“Well, I’ll be damned!”
The photo was passed around among friends.
“Yuan Bei, are you dating someone?”
“…No,” he said.
“Then what’s this?”
“…”
Yuan Bei deliberately changed the subject and steered the conversation away.
After a few rounds of drinks, when several friends had their arms around each other’s shoulders, someone told Yuan Bei: “If you really can’t bear to leave Beijing, just come back in a couple years. Don’t go wandering around aimlessly out there.”
Can’t bear to leave?
Yuan Bei drained his glass, his head fuzzy and swollen, and finally came to an answer with great difficulty.
Yes.
He couldn’t bear to leave Beijing.
…
Two days before departure, he needed to pack all of the cats’ belongings and send them to his friend’s house.
His friend had two kids, the younger daughter was still very small, and the older boy was at that mischievous age. Learning that there would be new family members, he excitedly ran circles around the house, sometimes clamoring to pet the kittens, other times wanting to give them ice cream.
“They can’t eat ice cream,” Yuan Bei said with a bitter smile.
“Then what are their names?”
“…They don’t have names,” he said, pinching the child’s little cheek. “You can name them.”
His friend kicked his son’s butt: “What did Mom and Dad tell you last night? What were you supposed to say to Uncle Yuan Bei today?”
The little boy stood at attention and saluted: “Uncle Yuan Bei, don’t worry! I’ll take good care of the kittens. When you come back, I’ll return them to you, and by then they’ll have grown into big cats!”
Yuan Bei smiled and crouched down: “Good. By then, you’ll have grown into a big person too.”
…
The day before departure, everything was already prepared.
He’d also given his car to his friend. With a completely free day, Yuan Bei couldn’t stand staying in his empty house, so he took the bus out to wander aimlessly, circling around with no destination.
Route 57 bus, from east to west.
The western district was quieter, more filled with the warmth of daily life, then on to Fengtai… When they reached Liuliqiao, a group of elderly people got on. Yuan Bei stood up to give them his seat and happened to overhear a grandmother chatting with someone, saying the tomato and egg dumplings at the nearby market were delicious and refreshing, freshly made and packed in plastic containers, you could take them home and cook them yourself, very convenient.
Yuan Bei listened and suddenly remembered this was also a dumpling filling he used to eat often as a child.
Tomato and egg dumplings were quite tricky to make as they easily fell apart in the soup. Once the filling was prepared, you had to wrap them immediately; if you waited too long, they wouldn’t hold their shape.
It seemed like he hadn’t eaten them in years.
He shamelessly asked where the market was, then got off at the next stop, walked over, and bought a container for carry-out.
Walking out of the bustling market, Yuan Bei stopped at the entrance, raised his hand to shield his eyes from the sun, and in that dazed moment, felt he was probably possessed.
He seemed to have caught something contagious.
That day, the habit of taking the bus to wander around was like Wang Luxi, the shameless behavior of asking strangers about things was also like Wang Luxi, and most deadly of all, when he’d just bought the dumplings, Wang Luxi’s face kept swaying in his head. She was pestering him, tugging at his arm and shaking it back and forth.
“Yuan Bei, Yuan Bei, say something in Beijing dialect for me.”
“Say what?”
“Just say ‘tomato,'” she giggled, her voice clear and bright, imitating that neither-here-nor-there Beijing accent, “xiong’er shi, xiong’er shi…”
…Yuan Bei suddenly wasn’t hungry anymore.
Gripping the plastic bag tightly, he felt his insides were all clogged up and panicky.
…
He’d guessed his mental state might not be quite normal today.
But he hadn’t expected it could get this crazy.
He hailed a taxi on the spot and went to Temple of Heaven Park, found a bench, and sat there the entire afternoon, witnessing the blue hour at dusk, then until the sky went completely dark.
The Temple of Heaven at night looked different from during the day, serene and profound.
Too bad it wasn’t the weekend, so the Hall of Prayer for Good Harvests wasn’t lit up. Otherwise, he could have seen the blue-tiled round dome under clean white lights, and if he was lucky, a full moon as backdrop.
Yuan Bei took out his phone and snapped a photo.
Pitch black, with nothing visible, like a lonely universe swallowed by a black hole.
…
Leaving the Temple of Heaven, he took a taxi home and received a call from a delivery driver on the way.
The delivery guy told him there was a package, quite large, marked fragile, requiring personal signature. He asked if Yuan Bei was home, this was the last delivery of the day, and he was about to clock out.
With tomorrow’s flight, and at this hour, Yuan Bei really couldn’t think of what he might have ordered that hadn’t arrived yet. He could only tell him to leave it with the security guard.
The ride-hailing car arrived.
As soon as Yuan Bei got in, he heard the driver on a phone call with his child, on speakerphone. A childish voice came through asking, “Daddy, when are you coming home?”
The driver confirmed the last digits of Yuan Bei’s phone number with him, then said to the child: “I’ll be back in winter. Listen to grandma at home, don’t play with your phone all the time. I have a passenger now.” Then he hastily hung up.
Yuan Bei actually didn’t mind: “Please, go ahead and talk. It’s fine.”
The driver glanced at Yuan Bei and smiled honestly, gesturing to the car interior: “There’s recording equipment. The platform is strict with management now. Forget phone calls, we don’t even dare chat with passengers. Easy to get complaints.”
Yuan Bei also smiled: “What if the passenger starts the conversation?”
“Then… then we chat!”
And so they started talking.
The driver spoke with a northeastern accent. Starting from the topic of his child, he opened up and talked about why he’d left his child at home and come to Beijing alone to drive ride-hailing cars.
“I deliver food during the day, and I partnered with someone for this car. He drives days, I drive nights… Work isn’t easy to find now. If you don’t accumulate enough good reviews, they won’t assign you orders, so you can only worry.” The driver said, “No choice, I’m not educated and don’t know how to do anything else.”
“What about your wife? Is she home with the child?”
Yuan Bei asked this question, then saw the driver scratch his scalp and smile: “She’s not around anymore. The child is with her grandparents back home.”
Having touched a sore spot, feeling it was impolite, Yuan Bei apologized.
“It’s okay. I first came to Beijing a few years ago, accompanying my wife to see doctors at Xiehe Hospital. We went through hell getting an appointment. Getting that appointment number, oh my…”
…Perhaps nowhere witnesses human suffering more than hospitals.
Actually, not just Xiehe, any hospital in Beijing counted. Outpatient clinics, emergency rooms, wherever there were people, it was always crowded, shoulder to shoulder. The bus stops in front of hospitals were packed with patients and family members carrying medical imaging bags from morning to night.
But these places also witnessed the most genuine emotions.
The driver said: “Anyway, I can earn more in Beijing than back home. I need to work hard and make money to raise my child. Otherwise, when I meet my wife in heaven, she’ll definitely slap me.”
Both men laughed.
When Yuan Bei mentioned that he was leaving Beijing tomorrow, leaving the place where he’d lived his whole life, the driver seemed to have commentary to offer: “That’s good, that’s good. Isn’t life just about the process and experiences? Some people have longer experiences, some shorter. What’s all this talk about drifting or not drifting, finding home or not finding home? None of us have eyes in the back of our heads. In the end, we all meet in heaven. When you have people around you, anywhere is home. Cherish it well.”
Passing Jianwai SOHO, going up the Guomao Bridge, that should be Beijing’s most beautiful urban nightscape. The buildings on both sides were orderly, with flowing lights capturing the eye, endless streams of traffic like a pulsing heartbeat.
This city, some people come, some people leave.
The driver hummed a song and cracked the window slightly, letting warm night air flow in: “Beijing is really great.”
Yuan Bei nodded: “Yes, it’s really great.”
Really great.
–
Back home, he picked up the package from the security guard.
It really was a big one.
Yuan Bei didn’t rush to unpack it. He first went to the kitchen to cook the tomato dumplings that had already clumped together beyond recognition. As expected, they turned into soup, completely unappetizing.
He leaned against the counter, his heart racing with panic for reasons he couldn’t understand. It was as if his heart had also been boiled in rolling water, skin broken, filling leaked. Everything he’d thought about during today’s wandering had nowhere to hide.
He really couldn’t describe what he was feeling at this moment, it seemed like he’d never experienced it before.
He randomly put on a movie, but it was still the Harry Potter finale that Wang Luxi hadn’t finished watching here last time.
There were still snacks and drinks Wang Luxi hadn’t finished in the refrigerator, he needed to clear them out and unplug it.
Before leaving, Wang Luxi had hung her “Phoenix Chirp” from her backpack on the guest bedroom door handle. Now it was swaying there, something she’d worked hard to collect, and for some reason, she’d left it at his place.
Yuan Bei walked over, stared at it for a long moment, then fiercely punched the door.
…
What a mess.
Yuan Bei had never imagined that the night before leaving home would be like this. He felt like a soldier barely clinging to life, or like relics left by predecessors, broken and weathered, surviving alone on a battlefield.
Everything was surreal.
He sat on the living room carpet like this, sleepless all night, sitting until dawn.
He didn’t know what he’d been thinking about, possibly nothing at all.
He had an afternoon flight, so there was still some time.
He got up to pack his carry-on luggage. Halfway through, he angrily kicked the suitcase away, stood in place, silent for a long time, then picked up his phone and opened his chat with Wang Luxi.
[Are you still living in the same place?]
He wanted to type and send this message, but before he could start typing, the screen jumped.
Wang Luxi’s long voice message came through first: “Yuan Bei, Yuan Bei, the delivery showed as signed for last night. What’s wrong with you, you received the package but didn’t say anything.”
Yuan Bei unconsciously relaxed his shoulders by half. He hadn’t heard what Wang Luxi was saying at all, he just felt like surging oxygen was pouring back in from above his head.
His heart was lifted out of the boiling water and drained.
He was alive again.
The morning sunlight streamed through the floor-to-ceiling windows, falling on the floor like a brilliant oil painting.
Wang Luxi’s style was to break one sentence into several, speaking at lightning speed: “Did anything break? I didn’t know this thing would take so long to make. I already asked the boss to rush it, but it was still slow… Did you unpack it yesterday to take a look?”
Inexplicably relieved, Yuan Bei looked toward the huge package box in the corner. While taking scissors to unpack it, he called her, discovering that even early in the morning, it was very noisy on Wang Luxi’s end.
“What have you been busy with these past few days?” he asked.
“Me…” Wang Luxi paused, “Nothing much, just haven’t been talking to you. I don’t know what else I could say to you, and I was afraid of being impolite…”
Yuan Bei took a deep breath.
Inside the cardboard box was another cardboard box. Several layers of packaging.
“Yuan Bei, you probably can’t take this with you, but you can hang it in your study.” Wang Luxi’s voice was slow.
Whether it was his imagination or not, Yuan Bei seemed to hear electronic announcement sounds in the background.
…Several layers of boxes, plus bubble wrap that needed to be torn away layer by layer.
While unpacking, he asked: “Where are you now?”
Wang Luxi didn’t answer this question.
“There’s no calligraphy you’ve written in your study. You said your writing wasn’t good enough to frame, but I don’t think so. It’s so beautiful,” she said to herself, “You must hang it up… I sent gifts for the cats but didn’t know what to send you. Then I thought about it and realized nothing seemed more suitable than this.”
At this moment, Yuan Bei peeled away the last layer of packaging.
The scissors were thrown aside.
As if he’d sensed it somehow, he sat on the living room carpet, silently looking at the piece of calligraphy before him.
“How is it, how is it? Why aren’t you saying anything, Yuan Bei? Is the framing okay? I didn’t see the actual piece. What do you think? Do you like it?”
…It was the calligraphy he’d written for Wang Luxi.
“Don’t worry about the road ahead having no close friends.”
On the paper, the ink was distinct.
Wang Luxi had taken it to be framed, then sent it back to him.
“I think this phrase suits you better,” Wang Luxi’s voice dropped slightly. She was quiet for a moment, then spoke again, “Yuan Bei, I wish you success in your studies and in life. Don’t worry about the road ahead having no close friends, everything will get better and better, and you’ll meet people who can always stay with you…”
…So many words.
Wang Luxi, you have so many words.
Yuan Bei suddenly felt that restless feeling from last night returning, hitting him head-on like wind and rain, making him extremely irritated. Especially listening to Wang Luxi on the other end, seemingly walking while talking, her voice a bit breathless, plus the surrounding noise, made his scalp tingle.
“Wang Luxi!” Yuan Bei spoke coldly.
“Ah?”
“…What ‘ah’! I’m asking you a question!” Yuan Bei stood up, standing in the living room’s chaos, “Where are you now!”
…
The airport.
Yuan Bei, I’m at the airport.
Wang Luxi suddenly covered her mouth, her eyes stinging from Yuan Bei’s tone. In the early morning, in the bustling airport terminal, she stood in the crowd like an unchanging lighthouse.
So the story about waiting for a ship at the airport wasn’t fake, she felt like she was waiting for a ship.
She didn’t know if that ship would come, didn’t know if she would miss it when it passed by.
She just stubbornly wanted to come here and wait. She wanted to say a proper goodbye to Yuan Bei. At first, she’d said she didn’t want to see him off, but somehow, she couldn’t help herself. There seemed to be some obsession, a feeling that where things began, they should also end.
“Which airport!” Yuan Bei’s tone was terrible.
There was rustling from the phone, then a muffled sound, followed by Yuan Bei sucking in a sharp breath, he must have bumped into something.
“Wang Luxi, don’t play dumb with me. Talk!”
“…Capital Airport. I’m at the Capital Airport.”
Wang Luxi still covered her lips tightly, holding the phone away from her ear. She couldn’t let Yuan Bei hear her vague choking up, couldn’t let so many days of persistence fall apart, that wouldn’t be cool at all.
“…” Yuan Bei seemed to sigh, then came the sound of a door slamming, “Wait there.”
“I… where are you? Are you already at the airport now?” She listened to Yuan Bei’s breathing, as if it were right by her ear, hitting her eardrum, so clear.
Yuan Bei said irritably: “Mind your own business!”
Why get angry!?
Wang Luxi’s tears were forced back, and she got angry too: “I don’t have to see you! I’m going home!”
“You dare!!”
Wang Luxi barely stopped in her tracks.
…
The airport terminal was like a huge crossroad, cutting apart many people’s fates, separating them, then connecting them… There were as many reunions here as farewells, as many heartbreaks as embraces. Wang Luxi looked back at the constantly intersecting and dispersing crowd, her heart in turmoil.
She didn’t know which direction Yuan Bei would come from, or when he would arrive.
The boarding announcements on the PA system never stopped, one after another, urging people’s footsteps.
…
This is an airport.
Wang Luxi stood in a corner of the terminal thinking, fortunately, this is an airport.
Here, no matter how intense the emotions, no matter what way of expressing emotions, it could all be accepted. Everyone was busy, no one would give her strange looks. But when Yuan Bei arrived at the airport, when she saw Yuan Bei appear in the crowd and walk quickly toward her, she still timidly stepped back half a pace.
Carefully, guiltily.
Yuan Bei had a small silver suitcase beside him. He must have just rushed over, so there was a bit of sweat on his forehead. He stopped in front of her, looking down at her with those clear, beautiful eyes, and spoke steadily: “Wang Luxi, can you explain to me why you’re here?”
After not seeing him for a few days, he seemed slightly more haggard, as if he hadn’t rested well.
“Just…”
Before she could speak, he interrupted again: “Great choice of location. Putting on an idol drama for me?”
…What!
“Act away, act to your heart’s content,” Yuan Bei said to himself, “Airport farewell, what’s the next step in an idol drama?”
Wang Luxi stared up at him blankly.
Next should be… should be a hug.
But she didn’t dare say it.
The next second, she only had time to feel the warmth on her arm, that was Yuan Bei’s palm, gripping her tightly, then pulling, and she fell into an embrace.
Yuan Bei was so much taller than her, his male frame fitting perfectly as it enveloped her.
Wang Luxi’s breath caught for a moment.
By now, her tears had dried.
She felt Yuan Bei’s heartbeat, pressed against both their chests, so fast.
“…You didn’t run here, did you, Yuan Bei?”
“Don’t talk right now, okay? Thank you.” Yuan Bei’s voice came from above her head, sounding somewhat helpless.
“Oh.”
Then, a hug.
A quiet hug.
They stood in an unnoticed corner of the airport terminal, quietly hugging.
The surroundings were still noisy.
It didn’t matter.
This was Wang Luxi’s first time hugging a man, a young man. His breath was burning, and he smelled of the familiar body wash. They’d held hands, and she’d secretly kissed his neck, but this was their first hug.
So this is what it feels like.
Wang Luxi tried to describe it with words, but couldn’t find the right ones. Her chin rested on Yuan Bei’s collarbone, her cheek against the skin of his neck, feeling the flow of blood.
…
“Yuan Bei, you’re hugging too tight.” After a long moment, she managed to speak with difficulty.
But the pressure didn’t ease.
When he felt her hands also wrap around his shoulder blades, Yuan Bei’s grip seemed to tighten even more.
“Sorry,” Yuan Bei said, “Bear with me a little longer.”
Wang Luxi laughed out loud.
For a long, long time.
She didn’t know how long this hug lasted, long enough to make up for everything they’d missed this entire summer.
When she finally regained her freedom, she looked into Yuan Bei’s eyes. Behind Yuan Bei, all those people hurrying in all directions became a moving backdrop.
In her eyes, there was only him.
“Why did you say I was putting on an idol drama?”
Yuan Bei didn’t answer this question. He slowly released her, his expression becoming serious, as if all the tenderness from that hug had been gathered up.
He asked her: “What time did you get to the airport?”
Finally back to the main topic.
“…First subway of the morning,” Wang Luxi murmured.
“What did you come to the airport for?”
“…Wanted to try, see if there was any chance of running into you.”
“Do you know my flight?”
“No.”
“Then how long were you planning to wait?”
“I checked the flight information. I was planning to wait until…” Wang Luxi’s voice got smaller and smaller, “wait until the last possible flight took off. If I didn’t see you, then it would prove there really was no fated encounter.”
Fate.
Yuan Bei laughed. What an excellent excuse, no matter when, no matter what circumstances, people always liked to use the word “fate” to explain everything.
“Did you consider that I might actually be flying out of Daxing Airport today?”
Wang Luxi continued looking down: “I considered it. If that were really the case, then there’d be even less I could do.”
Where in this world is there such a thing as “nothing I could do”?
When people say there’s nothing they can do, it’s just that their determination isn’t strong enough.
Yuan Bei looked into the distance, took a deep breath, and spoke in an almost resigned tone: “…Before you messaged me, I was planning to come find you.”
Now that’s called doing something.
Although… it was a method that should have been put into action long ago. At this moment, Yuan Bei couldn’t express the regret in his heart, what the hell had he been competing with himself about all these days?
…
“Really? For real!” Wang Luxi suddenly looked up, her eyes bright with joy, “What were you going to find me for?”
“What do you think?” Her chin was caught by Yuan Bei.
“Don’t smile! Don’t grin!” Yuan Bei deliberately furrowed his brows, “If you won’t spare me, you should have expected this day would come.”
“?”
What did I not spare you from?
I’ve been holding back all these days, haven’t I? I didn’t even contact you.
Yuan Bei was amused by her incredulity and nodded repeatedly: “Fine, you’re right.”
Then he let go of her hand and instead wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her back into his embrace.
Wang Luxi fell back into a vast summer sea, warmed by sunlight, and the waves also carried away all her tears, all her grievances.
Hugs seemed addictive.
The signal between her and Yuan Bei that had been cut off for so long was restored in this embrace.
“…Yuan Bei, you smell so good.”
“Stop talking.”
“…”
Wang Luxi closed her mouth but was secretly delighted.
The ship she had waited for finally arrived.
And been tied to his deck.
–
If Wang Luxi had to evaluate the summer of 2023 and choose the most romantic scene, she would definitely choose the airport.
The day they first met, and this day when she and Yuan Bei parted.
The airport really was a wonderful place.
Yuan Bei’s outfit today was very similar to that first night they met. Beige, Japanese style, magazine-worthy. Wang Luxi’s hand was being held, but her eyes unconsciously looked him up and down.
No matter how much she looked, she never got tired of it.
Yuan Bei’s flight was indeed departing from Daxing Airport, while Capital Airport was in the northeast corner and Daxing Airport was in the south, more than eighty kilometers between the two airports. Getting in the car, the ride-hailing driver looked at the order, then looked at this young couple in amazement: “Did you two… get the wrong airport on your tickets?”
Yuan Bei smiled: “Right.”
Fortunately, it was still early.
“Can you tell me what you’ve been busy with these past few days?” Yuan Bei suddenly asked, still persistent about this question.
What had she been busy with during the days they hadn’t contacted each other.
Wang Luxi was honest now: “I wasn’t talking to you, but I kept posting on WeChat Moments, maintaining my presence.”
Yuan Bei was speechless.
As expected.
And he’d fallen for it completely.
“Did you receive the gift I sent you? Framing calligraphy is so expensive! Did you hang it up?” Wang Luxi was in a good mood, and when she was in a good mood, her mouth couldn’t stay idle.
Yuan Bei wrapped her hand in his, looking out the window: “No.”
“You don’t like it?”
“It’s okay.”
“Why?”
“I don’t like that phrase.”
Wang Luxi jerked her hand free: “If you don’t like it, why did you write it for me!”
Yuan Bei was quiet for a moment, then recaptured her hand and kissed it: “Because I just realized how hurtful that phrase is.”
“Don’t worry about the road ahead having no close friends.”
Everyone understood this kind of reasoning, but who could be so transparently fearless as to abandon attachments and stride forward boldly? Right now, what he had by his side was already everything.
Yuan Bei really couldn’t imagine what lay ahead on the road.
He wasn’t interested.
No matter how wonderful, it had nothing to do with him.
“You’re not pursuing results anymore?”
Wang Luxi stared at the back of Yuan Bei’s hand, the hand that was holding hers had beautiful, flowing tendons.
“I don’t know,” Yuan Bei said. “I only know that if I miss even the process, the result seems even more meaningless.”
Wang Luxi gave him a questioning look.
“What I mean is, I would regret it,” he said, head down, his voice low. “Wang Luxi, I don’t know how we’ll turn out, what kind of ending we’ll have. I’m not that smart, and I don’t have that kind of foresight. Maybe it’ll be perfect, maybe it’ll fail, I really don’t know. I only know that if I just left like this today, I would definitely regret it.”
“…Oh,” Wang Luxi pouted, “so it’s just to avoid regret.”
Yuan Bei turned to look at her: “What else?”
What answer do you want to hear?
“You should say that these past few days when you didn’t contact me, you felt life was especially difficult, you discovered your life couldn’t go on without me anymore, that I lit you up.” Wang Luxi spread out her free hand and waved it by her face, “Spark~”
Standard idol drama dialogue.
Yuan Bei helplessly turned to look out the window, his shoulders shaking with laughter.
In the front seat, the driver also laughed: “So young! Dating is wonderful!”
Wang Luxi finally felt embarrassed and buried her face in Yuan Bei’s shoulder.
…
Such an absurd yet dramatic morning.
Even arriving at Daxing Airport, Wang Luxi still felt it was unbelievable, like a dream.
Yuan Bei was standing right beside her, still holding her hand.
Daxing Airport was really huge.
Wang Luxi had never been here before. Her first time coming here was to see off her boyfriend going abroad.
…Wait, wait.
Not her boyfriend yet.
Wang Luxi pressed her lips together, staring at the back of Yuan Bei’s head.
“The flight is this afternoon. Don’t see me off,” Yuan Bei said after checking his ticket, turning to meet Wang Luxi’s strange gaze. “It’s too far from downtown, inconvenient to get back. You leave first. I’ll watch you go, otherwise I won’t feel at ease.”
Wang Luxi continued staring at him with that eerie look.
“…What’s that little brain of yours scheming now?”
She pouted.
“Did you hear me? I’ll go in by myself in a bit. You, go straight home. Do you still remember the door code?”
She still didn’t make a sound.
“Wang Luxi.”
“…”
Wang Luxi used some force to pull her hand back from Yuan Bei’s surprised gaze: “Yuan Bei, I think you still owe me something.”
“?”
“If you leave today, can I still contact you in the future?”
“…” Yuan Bei frowned, “What?”
“In what capacity would I contact you?”
“What capacity do you think?” Yuan Bei picked up her hand again and shook it.
“If you don’t say it, how would I know!”
Yuan Bei looked at her for a long moment, then understood.
He smiled: “Oh, missing a step in the process?”
Wang Luxi held back a smile and turned her head to the side.
Idol drama leads confirming their relationship had to follow proper steps, not one could be skipped.
She needed this kind of definitive answer, it couldn’t be omitted.
Yuan Bei understood and was willing to perform this scene with her in broad daylight under the big sun, at the noisy terminal entrance: “Excuse me, Student Wang…”
He couldn’t continue, he wanted to laugh: “…Excuse me, Student Wang, do you have a boyfriend?”
“Not at the moment.”
“Then, excuse me, do I have a chance?” Yuan Bei said, “I’ve discovered that I can’t bear to leave Beijing. It seems I can’t bear to leave the people here even more. So, at most two years, I’ll probably come slinking back.”
This is my home.
There are people here I miss.
Elsewhere, I can’t settle my heart.
Yuan Bei suddenly discovered the strange wonder of worldly affairs. He’d originally thought he had no attachments left in this city, but now he had them again.
It was just that the process of convincing himself was somewhat difficult.
Fortunately, there was Wang Luxi, unreasonable, using every trick in the book, dragging and pulling him out of that self-created quagmire.
Escaping from the quagmire, he still felt unreality and insecurity, because he had to go against his own values and character to make decisions. These steps required emotion and impulse as foundation, as fuel.
At this moment, standing here, he’d already used up all the fuel in his body.
But he was willing.
For others, maybe not, but if it’s you, I’m willing, Wang Luxi.
It seems it could only be you.
…
Wang Luxi understood.
And because of this, she again felt the urge to cry.
She turned her head to the side, chin raised high: “Beg me.”
“?” Yuan Bei laughed. “I’m begging you.”
“I didn’t hear clearly.”
Yuan Bei looked around, somewhat helpless, but still complied: “I’m begging you, please do me the honor of being my girlfriend, okay?”
Wang Luxi was satisfied. She laughed loudly and jumped up, hanging on Yuan Bei like a koala, startling him. He quickly wrapped his arms around her waist so she wouldn’t fall.
She pressed against his ear, whispering: “Okay, yes, but long-distance relationships are very hard.”
Yes, they are very hard.
“I’m not afraid of hardship,” Wang Luxi said. “As long as it’s an experience, no matter how hard, I’m not afraid.”
Your fuel, I’ll slowly help you replenish it.
Let’s see together what that result you both fear and anticipate, pursue yet resist, actually looks like. Let’s see if it will pale in comparison to our brilliant “process”, in the face of the countless moments we build together.
…
For someone like Yuan Bei, hugging in public was already the limit.
Wang Luxi knew this too, so she didn’t think of anything more.
She listened to Yuan Bei and didn’t go in to see him off.
It was afternoon now, the sunlight blazing. She watched Yuan Bei’s figure enter that glass door, but after a moment, she noticed Yuan Bei’s steps had stopped.
He turned around and came back.
“What’s wrong?”
Yuan Bei didn’t speak. He just placed his palm over the back of her head, gently kissed her forehead, very briefly, very lightly, then refused to look at her expression and turned to leave.
What was that about?
Wang Luxi didn’t have time to feel happy, she was just a bit confused.
The confusion continued.
She saw Yuan Bei enter the terminal again, and within seconds, he turned around once more.
“…What’s wrong with you now?”
She saw Yuan Bei suppressing a smile as he walked toward her.
“…I still don’t want to regret anything,” Yuan Bei said. He pretended nonchalance, glanced around at the hurried passersby, confirmed no one was paying attention to them, then bent down and lowered his head.
This time, Wang Luxi tasted the texture of Yuan Bei’s lips, cool and soft.
The first time.
A not-quite-qualified first kiss.
On the day they confirmed their relationship.
Also on the day they parted.
…
Rarely do people’s love stories begin with separation, Wang Luxi thought, and laughed.
She still lied to Yuan Bei. She didn’t obediently take a taxi home, but sat outside the airport for a long time, just like that first night they met.
But while that time she could look up to see stars, now it was a clear blue sky. She looked up until a plane glided overhead, leaving a faint trail. That was summer’s dashed line, and on the other side of the line was “to be continued.”
This summer was ending.
Wang Luxi stood up.
She would no longer feel regret, would no longer miss it endlessly, because this summer was also just one link in the process, also just a moment, and that was all.
She would have countless springs, summers, autumns, and winters ahead. She would have all four seasons of this city.